1. |
Roaches
03:45
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I'm smoking roaches from the ashtray
Haven't left the apartment in ten days
It's another rainy day
All cold and wet and gray
I'm rolling weed with the tobacco
I'm calling you on the telephone
I don't want to be alone
All sad and scared and stoned
I'm terrified of tomorrow
I don't know if it'll come or I will go
There's so much more to be afraid of
Than I ever could have dreamed of
And now I'm done
Now I'm done
Now I'm done
And now I'm done
Smoking roaches from the ashtray
Another diagnosis
Another brief psychosis
Another "a little bit dramatic"
Another "isn't that tragic"
And now I'm done
Now I'm done
Now I'm done
And now I'm done
Smoking roaches from the ashtray
I've had one too many bad days
One too many, "last times I saw your face"
One too many dark cards I'd been dealt
One too many blows below the belt
And now I'm done
Now I'm done
Now I'm done
And now I'm done
Smoking roaches from the ashtray
I'm smoking roaches from the ashtray
I'm shadowboxing one more day away
I'm pacing around in circles
I'm facing myself in the mirror
And now I'm done
Now I'm done
Now I'm done
And now I'm done
Smoking roaches from the ashtray
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2. |
Fried Eggs
04:21
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I sat in a diner and spoke of my mother
Over eggs that were fried and
You asked me if I'd died my hair
I replied with a smile, but I'm scared
That you're staring at me
I'm so funny
I spoke from the heart
While I watched your eyes water
Did I say too much?
Have I been a bad daughter?
I often wonder if I only speak just to hear myself talk
I'm so funny
But I'm not trying to be
No I'm not trying to be
Anything
I changed the subject
To something more light
Then we started dissecting
Our Enneagram types
You are seven and I am a four
I'm wondering who could be jealous of who more
It's so funny
I'm the life of the party
And the butt of the joke
You are the maker of a world of its own
I want to be someone who can't be known
But I'm way too busy putting on a show
It's so funny
But I'm not trying to be
No I'm not trying to be
Anything
I cried
Speaking my mind
Over fried eggs
My voice broke and I
Started to choke
I'm not trying to be
Anything
I picked up the check and we walked to the car
And I felt like I showed you too much of my heart
I was ashamed from the start but you told me you were
Happy to know
I'm so funny
But I'm not trying to be
No I'm not trying to be
Anything
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3. |
||||
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I'm smoking roaches from the ashtray
Haven't left the apartment in ten days
It's another rainy day
All cold and wet and gray
I'm rolling weed with the tobacco
I'm calling you on the telephone
I don't want to be alone
All sad and scared and stoned
I'm terrified of tomorrow
I don't know if it'll come or I will go
There's so much more to be afraid of
Than I ever could have dreamed of
And now I'm done
Now I'm done
Now I'm done
And now I'm done
Smoking roaches from the ashtray
Another diagnosis
Another brief psychosis
Another "a little bit dramatic"
Another "isn't that tragic"
And now I'm done
Now I'm done
Now I'm done
And now I'm done
Smoking roaches from the ashtray
I've had one too many bad days
One too many, "last times I saw your face"
One too many dark cards I'd been dealt
One too many blows below the belt
And now I'm done
Now I'm done
Now I'm done
And now I'm done
Smoking roaches from the ashtray
I'm smoking roaches from the ashtray
I'm shadowboxing one more day away
I'm pacing around in circles
I'm facing myself in the mirror
And now I'm done
Now I'm done
Now I'm done
And now I'm done
Smoking roaches from the ashtray
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4. |
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I saw a little boy in a cowboy hat
Walking up the church steps on a
Sunny Saturday one afternoon
I saw two hippies holding plastic bags
Drinking tea from Arizona cans
Crossing the highway two by two
Then tears filled up my eyes when I
Saw a group of blind men walking
Together with their metal canes
Together on the sidewalk
And I thought about my own faith
How I spend my days
Evaluating what might need to change
I felt jealous
I felt sad and scared
I felt like something new was in the air
I saw children holding teddy bears
Towering on their daddies' shoulders
Walking hand in hand
People loving one another
The kids about to see
Something that they've never seen before
How giddy they all seem
The whole world is a candy store and I'm
Sitting in the driver's seat
One hand is on the steering wheel
The other one is greeting all the ones I'll never meet
Where I'm going
I'm unsure
I don't need to know how it may all unfurl
You are somewhere
Way beyond the words
You are in a place where
Nothing ever hurts
You are in a garden
Where silence is the only sound
A colorful perennial flower
Growing tall out of the ground
I was lost and looking to be found
I've seen things I never thought I'd see
I've been someone I thought I'd never be
Oh I don't always know
What I always believe
But there's got to be something bigger than me
I felt it one day stopped aside the street
On a Sunny Saturday one afternoon
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Emily Fenton Little Rock, Arkansas
Emily Fenton is a singer-songwriter from Little Rock, Arkansas.
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